Quiet? Reserved? Me?

I usually pride myself on being self-aware, but today my therapist blew my mind. I’ve always known that I’m quiet in big groups, you won’t see me talking much in a class setting (except where I was the teacher) or at a large table full of people. But I really thought that I was talkative in other settings. But now I’m realizing that may not be the case.

I’m not a fan of small talk, that I know. But give me a topic of meaning and I can delve in with the best. I thought that was even the case with therapy. Until today.

My therapist called my style “quiet” and “reserved” and equated me to a teenager with whom each word has to be extracted (I’m paraphrasing here). She claims that I’m the only client she is currently seeing who makes her work as hard as I do in terms of making conversation and initiating topics for us to discuss. And I’m starting to see where she’s coming from. I’m a succinct person, although that might not always come thru in my writing. I give short answers to her questions, often needing prodding to elaborate. 

Am I quiet and reserved? Possibly that’s a part of me that I’ve never really acknowledged… But how can I change that? At least in therapy? I’m not sure I’ll ever spew out my thoughts and concerns, but can I find a middle ground? I’m going to try, but I don’t think it will be so easy.


  1. I much like you was the same way and… it has to be earned by the therapist, which I might add is their job. If anything it is pragmatic not to divulge such personal details about one’s life with seemingly strangers. The degree only indicates their chosen study achievements, not ability to practice flawlessly. This therapist sounds a bit insecure or overly demanding you simplu open up because she hangs a plague on the wall. I wouldn’t be to eager to satisfy her expectations… after all, she may well be testing you to see how easy you’re manipulated by others in an unbalanced power relationship. imo…


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